Thursday, September 23, 2010

Relationships - Finding Lost School Friends

There are times when we reminisce and look back at our past relationships. I do not mean love relationships here, I mean old friendships from Grade School, High School, and/or college. Can you count at least one friendship from each school you attended that has followed you throughout your life? Can you count more than one? Can you kick yourself for losing touch with people you cared about due to procrastination, family interference, educational, career, or life choices? If you can freely admit that you miss some people, or want to know they are OK, please read on.

I met many people throughout my life who do not like to attend their high school reunions because they do not have good memories of those years. I must be the eternal optimist. I have always gone out of my way to be a friend to anyone who needed one -- even if they tossed me aside after their crises had passed. It was at a reunion that I really learned my worth as a human being and how many lives I impacted in a positive way, even if I was not the most positive at the time.

I have always been fond of reunions because it allowed me to reconnect and catch up with a few people -- if only for one night. I also reconnected with a few friends that were very dear to me, but due to life choices we had made, we lost touch over the years. Also, I made friends with people I never had a chance to get to know when I was in school. I really find that I am truly blessed in the number of people whose lives I have the privilege of touching in a positive way.

Take the time to search for someone you lost touch with who meant something to you at some point in your life. Whether you just need to reconnect one time or bring this relationship forward, use the Internet to Google them. Maybe they are Linked-In, on Facebook, or listed on

I reached out to someone today that I haven't seen in over fifteen years. I hope she reaches back and we have time to catch up. Will our lives be better for the contact? I do not know. I just want to tell her, "Hey, I think of you from time to time and I hope you are happy!"

My message to you is simple ... take time to reach out to someone today ... in a positive way!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Relationships - Asking for Help

Just a quick post today. Are you someone who forgets to ask a friend for help when you need it? Are you the person who would give your shirt off your back to someone who needs it? Did it ever occur to you that one day someone might give you theirs? Are you ashamed to ask someone for help? If you are, more than likely fear keeps you silent.

If you are are a giver, have you learned to receive yet? If not, today may be the beginning of is a special is everyday. Today should be the day you decide or affirm that you will ask for help when you need it. If the person you ask is unable to help in the way that you feel you need it, did they reach back in some way? If the answer is yes, you found a true friend.

When you hear the words "God never gives you more than you can handle," do you wholeheartedly believe it? You need to. Living is about having faith and knowing that if you have extended a hand in the past, someone may extend one to you. While it may not be in the way you expected, it will be in the way you need.

When you need help, do not be ashamed to share your journey with someone or ask for assistance. We are all here to help one another. While we may not always be in the most positive mental or emotional space all the time, do know that those thoughts and feelings are what binds us together in friendship.

Reach out to someone you love, or consider a friend who needs your help, and make their day brighter. If you are not having the best day, reach out to someone so they may help make your day brighter.

Life is to be lived and shared. As my late father used to say, "We are all on borrowed time. Make the most of the time the Creator has given you.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Relationships - Blessings from God/Goddess/Creator

Today, I would like to focus on the blessings we receive from God/Goddess/Creator. We are in the middle of a Mercury retrograde that provides us with one humongous, sneaky wallop. Some retrogrades are mild, some are overtly destructive, and others are...well they are all unique. This is a time when communications get snarled, relationship end, jobs end, relationships start, jobs start, computers act up (and I've had them crash and a few have literally burned), and all sorts of communication snafus may arise.

The day before Mercury went retrograde, I felt on top of the world, that I could do anything and the energy was light and perfect. The next day, I was knocked literally on my bottom. Thus, the flow of energy. So, as the avid surfers in SoCal are looking for that perfect wave, I am just riding the wave of energy moment by moment, day by day.

This past weekend, I was in San Francisco having a wonderful time at SFBATS. I enjoyed the company of my peers living in the wonderful world of Tarot. We explored many different concepts, uses, and the history of Tarot, etc. I felt like I was back in the loving, caring arms of old and new friends. When I looked over my notes from a few of the workshops I attended, I discovered that there were gaping holes in my notes and most of what I wrote down did not make sense. Retrograde? You betcha.

Mercury retrogrades are noted as optimal times to clean up old business and take things low and slow. They should be welcomed because they have a purpose -- to bring us back to ourselves and our humanity. Some of us find it a little difficult to stay focused during these weeks. It can be hard to not let our past come and bite us where we sit. Staying positive and optimistic is not always easy when we look down that dark tunnel with a speck of light at the other end, but we manage.

Today was a special day for me. While taking care of some personal business of mine, I became a bit emotional and shared my thoughts and feelings with the wonderful person on the other end of the telephone. I had spoken to her in the past and I know she deals with a lot of people, so I didn't expect her to remember me personally. I'm just a name and an account number. I thanked her after she put in a request to expedite my application. I don't remember what I said next, but she told me, "You always make me laugh and it brightens my day." I asked her, "You remember me?" She said she remembered my name because the last few times we spoke no matter what my day was like and my concerns, I always made her day. I do that a lot and I don't realize the impact I make on people. I like to make people feel better -- lift their burden. My father wanted me to be a mensch. I guess he got what he wanted, posthumously.

When you open your heart and share your spirit with others, you can make a difference in the world. By performing acts of kindness and support, when someone needs it, you will find that when you are in need, someone will give back to you.

Use this Retrograde energy to remove any people from your life that are toxic so that God/Goddess/Creator can replace that negativity with love, understanding and joy. Sometimes we need reminding that as difficult as life can be at times, a little light shines through and someone gives back to you.

Tell someone you appreciate them today ... and every day.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Relationships - Misunderstandings

Do you realize how important it is to be and have a good friend? Assuming you are there when your friend needs you, are they there when you need them? What happens if you either deliberately or inadvertently say or write something to your friend that hurts their feelings?

Taking it another step further, what happens if you tell your friend the truth and it's not what he or she wants to hear? Perhaps you shared your feelings and your friend misinterpreted your words and intentions? Maybe they reached out to another person for their opinion, and a wedge was then put into your relationship, possibly destroying it forever? That hurts very deeply, I am sure. If your fears and issues had not entered the picture, would this relationship continued to go on unscathed? Probably not. More than likely something else would have come up over time to test this relationship. The issues in relationships are always there. Misunderstandings always happen. It's how we handle them that matters. Take care of yourself and take your time when dealing with your desire to express yourself. You should be able to live comfortably with the results of your verbal or written choices.

My mother used to say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I think she may have been right. No one likes confrontations. No one likes to be wrong. No one likes to feel that they have been taken advantage of, not been given a chance to apologize and have that apology accepted, or be given a chance to explain what they felt, what they did, and why.

The best thing you can do is to be thankful for the experience, understand that possibly your trust and fear issues may have gotten in the way, and maybe there was a good reason everything turned as it did. That's the hardest thing to accept because you may not have the answer to that for some time.

My intuitive and practical suggestions would be to accept that your relationship is no longer the same. This would allow both of you to find your own way in life -- focus on your own stuff and allow each of you to grow in different directions. Over time, you may realize that you had spent more time helping your friend achieve their dreams, and you had let your own languish, or was it the other way around?

Perhaps down the road, enough time and distance will allow you both to reconnect in a positive and forgiving way.

Is there a solution for this? I think so. I recommend learning to be comfortable in your own skin. These types of things will always happen. Own up to your words and know that as long as you live your life with honesty and integrity you can find peace in knowing you tried to do the right thing. In time, perhaps your friend may realize that you were only trying to express yourself, and you wanted to let them know how you felt. In the meantime, say a prayer or two for all of you, send them your love and good wishes for their journey and be grateful for having traveled that road on your journey through life.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Relationships - Mothers

A few days ago, I celebrated the 19th anniversary of my mother's death--her crossing over to the spiritual plane--the other side, if you will. I miss her, but at every turn in my life, there is some glimmer of her having been here. I look in the mirror and see traces of her looking back at me. In my behavior, personality, character traits--good and bad, I see her, too. I am the product of her genetic code to some extent.

I have been ruminating about the role mothers play in everyone's lives. Over the years, I have read cards and palms for hundreds of thousands of people. I have heard many people talk about their mothers and not all of what I heard was favorable. Not all of it was unfavorable either. Our humanity is what makes us who we are.

Now that I have reached the age where I embrace the concept of wisdom and cronehood, I see the relationship between a child and a mother in many different perspectives, and I can understand the various roles a mother (woman) plays in the lives of others.

Some of the roles mothers play are: friendly, loving, nurturing, suffocating, non-existent, toxic, drug- and/or alcohol-addicted, abusive in some way, supportive, aging, ill, and inspirational. Feel free to add your thoughts to this. What role your mother play in your life? Did it change as you did--as you grew older? If your relationship with her wasn't the way you wanted it to be, can you now accept the fact that she did the best she could?

Mothers often they deprive themselves or make sacrifices for their children. I know that there is an art to having and maintaining balance in your life if you have children or are a caretaker to an elderly parent or relative. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to mothering someone; it is a trial and error sort of thing. Babies do not come with instruction manuals.

Were you raised by the woman who gave birth to you? Were you abandoned? Adopted? Raised by a family member? Were you abused by whomever raised you? Did you raise yourself? What was your situation? Have you grown to be a positive contributing person to society as a result of your upbringing? I hope so.

Your obligation in life is to take the lessons you learned from the person who mothered or raised you, without blaming them for your shortcomings. Praise them for what they have done to help you become the person you are today, even if that was by abandoning you or abusing you.

My mother was a blamer. There are times, I blame people for things in my life. When I catch myself doing this, I stop, apologize, and ask to be forgiven. I hate being a blamer. However, I know that when someone has done something to me and I want to blame them for what happened, I look at myself to see why I allowed the situation to evolve the way it did and why I feel the way I do.

I acknowledge that I am a direct product my mother's programming and the programming of all people I encountered in my life. While I wish I had been more street-smart and less naive when I was growing up, I forged relationships based upon what I learned from her directly and indirectly. My lack of awareness when I was younger prevented me from making certain decisions. I have accepted the fact that I am the way I am. Any changes I make now depend upon how I re-program myself. I am a work in progress.

My mother knew how to squeeze a penny until it cried "please let me go!" She was beyond frugal. I am less frugal, but I also learned how to not deny myself things that I really, really want because of her. I learned to value things and I know what is necessary in my life and what is not. I understand her better now, and I have have a strong knowledge of life cycles--how things shift and change, and how we need to adapt and go with the flow.

While there is much I still need to learn, I credit my integrity and survival instincts to having been my mother's daughter, and I take responsibility for my actions. Unlike my mother, I am a square peg and I will not fit into a round hole. I will not make myself ill trying to please another person. I accept myself as a product of her belief systems and standards. I have also chosen to re-write the beliefs and standards that no longer serve me.

Regardless of your mother's shortcomings, addictions, issues, fears, etc. it is up to you to change your life for the better, and do the best you can with what you have experienced in order to live your life for yourself. Surround yourself with loving, supportive people and let the others go away, or send them away. How you handle these situations are unique unto you. Do the best you can with positive thoughts and work through your pain and anger. I know it is best to focus on positive thoughts and experiences only, so you can attract positive energy to you. What if you cannot? How do you process your pain, feelings of abuse and betrayal until you get to the point where you can let it go? Please comment and share them here.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Relationships - Staying Too Long at the Fair

I love to use the quote, "I stayed too long at the fair," when discussing relationships during the course of a reading. Four of the reasons people stay in relationships too long center around fear, love, trust and control issues.

Everyone in a love-oriented relationship wants to feel loved and secure. The desire to live happily ever after takes a lot of work, but there are times where no matter what you do, a relationship needs to end. How do we know when it is time to pull the plug? Is it easy to admit that a relationship is no longer viable? Can we acknowledge that we failed? Most people do not want to admit failure because that implies guilt and blame. If we can get past our emotions and not play (or stop playing) the blame game, we may realize that even though we love someone, we may have to say goodbye because our relationship no longer works. We are no longer happy.

Did we change? Is our partner resistant to change? Did we both change and discover that we no longer want the same things? People are unique and complicated. Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. Each piece will fit perfectly next to two or more pieces, but all of the pieces need to be present to create a complete picture. The more complicated the picture, the longer it will take for us to put all the pieces together properly. There are people in the world who do not have the patience to wait for things to come together. Others discover that not all of the pieces will fit together--an important piece is missing. I like to refer to this situation as an eight of cups moment. In Tarot, one of the simplest interpretations of this card is: walking away to seek what is missing. Searching for fulfillment or taking a chance so that one can find what one needs.

When is love no longer enough to keep two people together? There are some people who know when to leave a relationship before it gets ugly. Others leave when it gets ugly, and there are a few who stay no matter what.

Depending on your age or life experiences you enter into relationships for reasons that are unique to you. I know the type of man I would have chosen as my significant other in my early twenties is not the type of person I would choose today. We change and evolve. We become wiser. If our partners change and evolve in the same direction that we do, we are most fortunate. If not, then we enter the market again and search for the next suitable partner. This should be an adventure--a quest to find love. It is not an easy journey. This may be why some people stay in unhealthy relationships.

Life happens. We lose jobs. If our parents are still alive, we may need to become their caretakers. Children still need a good education in order to succeed in the world. Sometimes we may need to go back to school in order to re-educate ourselves because the work environment has forced us out of our comfort zone. Perhaps we were not really comfortable but we were marking time--waiting for our next opportunity. Often we stay in jobs we hate or that make us ill because we need financial security. Even our nest eggs (if we have them) may take a hit when the economy dips, or we lose our jobs. We worry about our future and those who depend upon us. We need to persevere because that is what we must do. No one has it easy all the time. We should never give up living when life deal us a particularly difficult hand. However, when it comes to relationships, we may have to give up. Knowing when to call it a day is not always easy.

Where am I going with this line of thinking? To the heart of the matter. It does not matter how much you love someone and how much they love you. If you are not getting what you need from a relationship, you need to take a moment to figure out what you want and what you are willing to settle for or accept from your partner. Have one or both of you stopped communicating? Are you the one who is closed off? Do you find yourself eating more, drinking more, smoking more, needing anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication because you are not getting what you need in this relationship? Is your partner doing this?

If this sounds like you, you need to make a list of the advantages of staying in this relationship and the advantages of leaving. Do the same thing with the disadvantages of both. Write down what is keeping you tied to your partner besides love or the amount of time you both have invested in this relationship.

Are you trying to control the outcome or fix this relationship by yourself? Is that what your partner is trying to do this? Recognize that when one person is finished, the relationship is finished. Stop trying to convince yourself that the other person can change. The only person who can change is you.

If you are in a situation where you may need to end a relationship, here are a few more things to think about. 1) Would you be happier with or without this person? 2) Can you get what you want from this relationship? 3) Are you able to give your partner what they need without resentment?

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you or someone you know who may be staying too long at the fair. If you have any ideas, comments or thoughts about this chapter in my Relationship Insight Series, I look forward to hearing them, responding to them, and I may possibly include them in a future blog entry.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Relationship Insights Series

What is the number one topic that people ask a psychic or professional Tarot reader? The obvious answer is love and relationships. Over a period of weeks, I will blog about various relationship issues that people encounter. Feel free to comment or email me with specific relationship-oriented questions, and I will provide information for you to think about in my intuitive, practical, no-nonsense manner in a future blog. Feel free to agree or disagree with me and offer your comments and insights, too. Those of you who know my work as an intuitive know that I can cut through the bull, present any situation for what it is, and provide more than one way to look at any situation so that you can choose the course of action that will best suit your life and personality.

Here's an example of what to expect in upcoming blog entries:

When I read Tarot cards at an event last year, a young woman asked me, "Can you tell me how my relationship is going to end?" I answered, "Did you want your relationship to end?" She stopped her dead in tracks. The stunned look on her face then turned to awareness.

How often do we let our emotions, fears, insecurities and doubts rule our lives? Probably far too often. I am certain you have heard people tell us that the energy we expend comes back to us--the positive and negative. While the manifestation process is not very complicated, what we often put into it is mixed energy. So, why are we surprised when the universe grants our wishes and we end up with things we don't want mingled with things we do want? We shouldn't be. We need to remember that everything comes about in its own time, and in the form that will best assist us in our personal growth.

Using the young lady mentioned above as an example, her fear that her relationship would end took precedence over what she really wanted to know. I felt that she wanted to know the following two things:

1) Am I going to live happily ever after?
2) Is my relationship is going to end?

I asked her, "Did you want me to tell you how to make your relationship flourish and what areas you need to work on to improve it? She said, "Yes." I proceeded to do just that, and I reminded her that her partner also needs to work on the relationship.

Her desire to live happily ever after and her fear that she might lose him created the compound question. Compound questions do not generate clean readings with Tarot or any other form of divination. Short, sweet and to the point generally works best for prayers, manifestation and when consulting a professional intuitive.

Stay tuned for the next installment in my Relationship Insight Series. Perhaps I will use one of your questions.